Old school psychology loves to ask the question “why”. In my line of work, dealing with criminal types, I can’t use this “why” based focus. It encourages the criminal to blame someone other than themselves for their poor choices and criminal behavior. Rather than trying to get the criminal to cry, morn, or place blame on past experiences with mom, dad, the church, a friend or a trauma, I focus on their present behavior and present thinking errors.

Change the thinking and you change the behavior. In regard to our emotions, they follow our thinking, not the other way around. So, if you want to feel better… change the thinking. Do you get the picture?

It’s especially true that criminal personalities do not benefit from placing blame. It’s actually counter productive and they will use it as justification for their behavior and/or minimize their responsibility for their criminal actions past, present and future. We are all accountable for our actions as adults no matter what was done to us, or not done for us.

Early on in my counseling experience, I treated a multiple personality client, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. I spent a lot of fascinating time chasing causes. Her father was probably a bad man, but the problem was that her memory was severely compromised and the facts were impossible to corroborate. Eventually I had to stop trying to determine how she got these thoughts and who did what, and simply work on changing current behavior by identifying the current distorted thinking.

Identifying false guilt, shame or false responsibility is a natural by-product of addressing distorted beliefs or irrational thinking. Where it came from is ultimately inconsequential to changing behavior. We older folks forget so much as we age and young children often have distorted recall and the average person’s memory changes so much that we can never know exactly when, or where the erroneous thinking started. It’s enough to know that it did and it’s enough to know that we can change without going back and digging in the past.

People seem to have a love relationship with trying to identify why they do what they do, or did what they did. It’s as if this knowledge will lessen their culpability, or reveal some inner emotional need yet unmet. Oh come now, do we really need this? If you ask me, no, but don’t tell practitioners of some of those really groovy psychological orientations that want you to look at your family of origin. That may be fun if you have lots of time and money, but for most of us real world people, we just want to change behavior and increase our happiness and success in life, not emote over the past.

Those countless pop psychology books, which once seemed so chic, are now fodder for Goodwill stores in every state of our illustrious union. They were fads, which made someone a paycheck, but the long-term benefit is highly suspect. If you want comfort, or feel like emoting, go talk to a caring friend. It is way cheaper, and personally I think it’s much more satisfying. If you really want to improve your life, change self-destructive or self-defeating behavior then its time to identify distorted thinking which leads to inaccurate emotions and ultimately wrong behavior. It’s time to apply some good old… err newer, cognitive behavioral psychology.

“If you want truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between “for” and “against” is the mind’s worst disease.”

– Sent-ts’an, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

My ability to remain calm often dictates my ability to remain reasonable. More importantly, my ability to keep my perspective accurate and my assessment honest keeps me fair and thoughtful, but I do this best when I don’t take sides on every occasion.

The outcome of such “for” or “against” thinking is that it keeps us from insight, understanding and truth. We see this divided thinking in religion with all the many different religions pitted against one another. We see it within a particular religion with its many different sects and denominations. We see it within our country through its divided political parties. And we see it within marriages when they end.

I have been afforded enough time in my life to have once, been for religion, and now skeptical of religion, for one political party and now another, to have been married then divorced. I’m moving toward another path, one where I don’t have to be “for” or “against”. I try to just be assertive and honest. I share my feelings and thoughts with the hope that the other person will work with me toward a solution and not against me. Of course I don’t believe I will change them. I simply hope that my authenticity will allow me to remain true to my intent.

I realized long ago that we can’t change people, we can change only ourselves. I don’t strive to be right, I strive to understand. I believe this approach helps me remain reasonable even when the other person isn’t. Personal change depends on our ability to take responsibility for our lives and make an honest and accurate assessment of life each and every day, especially when a major event shatters our dreams. Simply taking a stance against, or for something with the undesired result of blinding ourselves to truth both personal and real need not be the outcome. We need not be divided and fighting if we seek to understand rather than take sides.

Let Go Of Your Past

The story you tell about how you had a rough start because you were always sick as a kid. The idea that you were a challenging child, or an easygoing child. That you were bright, or creative, or rebellious. The way that story developed into your current ideas about how you ended up the way you are. Do you think that is who you are, the culmination of those stories? What if you let that go, just let it all go? What if you let go of your attachment to that manufactured idea of who you are?

Let Go Of Your Desires

What if you let go of the idea that you’re a morning person, that you’re a cat person, that you’re a vegetarian. That you don’t like traveling, that you do like reading, that you prefer dark colors to pastels. That you’d probably find your soulmate sooner if you could lose that extra twenty pounds. That you wouldn’t crave a soulmate so much if you could just get a job where you made more money. That you wouldn’t crave money so much if you could just find your soulmate. That both your work life and your dating life would pick up if you just moved to a bigger city, a smaller town, a different state.

Let Go Of Your Self Judgments

That you need a faster computer, a newer car, or a bigger apartment. That you have too many sins on your slate to wipe it clean. That your lover will leave if you don’t start being more like what they want. That you need to slow down and enjoy life more. That you need to hurry up and start making the most of your life. That there is a way to measure how full your life is. That someone else can help you decide how to take those measurements.

Let Go Of Your Fixed Ideas Of How Things Are

What if you let go of your ideas about your favorite foods, your most comfortable jeans, or your happiest memory? Your proudest moment, your deepest regret, your most intense longing. Your dreams for the future, your fears for the future, your expectations for the future. Your ideas about how other people are, which ones can be trusted, and which ones cannot. Your religious beliefs, your political stance, your ideas about whether or not you are a likable person.

Letting Go Is Liberating

The idea that who you are is a factor of where you grew up, who your parents were, and what kind of education you received. That things are getting better, that things are getting worse, that one brand name is better than another. All these attachments you have to all these ideas . . . what if you really, truly let them go? Even just for a moment? Collect everything you are and everything you think and just let at all go. What is left of you now? Can you see who you are after letting go? Now, let that go, too! It is amazing how liberating it is to keep practicing letting go.

Now hang on, before you go accusing me of male-bashing, have a look at the facts. For more than two millennia nothing has changed – when a man creates his own empire, it’s perfectly acceptable for him to go out and bend things to suit him, and in fact he’s praised for it. “He never let anything stop him from his goals” is considered a compliment. But when a woman does the same thing, she’s called willful, a coldhearted bitch, or even worse.

Developing A Healthy Attitude Towards Achieving Your Dreams

Now, I’m not saying that women should go out there and act selfishly to prove a point. Of course not. But I do think that we could all use a healthier attitude toward achieving our dreams, and celebrating others when they embrace their abilities and make the most of what they can do.

If all of us, both men and women, could embrace the philosophy that there is enough in the universe to give everyone what they need, then we could let go of this archaic notion that women have to choose between being good little subservient wives and mothers, or having the word “feminist” thrown at them as an insult. As if there were no in betweens.

I’d like to offer a few suggestions about how you can promote yourself without fear of being perceived as a selfish bitch, without feeling like you’re doing something wrong by offering your talents to the world, and without worrying that you might offend all the wrong people and end up worse off than when you started.

Promote Yourself!

One: Remember that everything you see and experience externally is actually you projecting the stories you tell yourself onto others. It’s frustrating, but it’s also the key to turning your perceptions around. If you start healing your own beliefs and start telling yourself a new story, it’s surprising how soon the new story becomes true for you. No longer do you have to believe that men have opportunities that women don’t, or that self promotion is something only shameless attention whores do.

Two: Remember that you are the source. If you ask yourself who you think the source is of money, energy, or whatever else in yourself, and you believe the answer is outside yourself, then you definitely have some work to do on refocusing.

Three: Try testing out the new stories you’re creating for yourself. Promote yourself out loud and see what happens. Do people accuse you of shameless self promotion? And if they do, does the world stop spinning? Some people will love what you do, and some people will hate it, but remember that they’re all projecting their own internal stories, too. What they think about you generally has very little to do with you, so don’t take it personally. Sometimes there’s a process of “getting over it” that can sting a bit at first. It means you have to face your fears, in this case promoting yourself, and stare at it until it isn’t such a big deal anymore. It may seem uncomfortable in the beginning, but as with any other anxiety, the longer you immerse yourself in it, the less anxious you become. You’ll heal your own insecurities, and soon self promotion will be no big deal anymore!

Just What Is Racism?

Racism can be as simple as a visceral reaction or as blatant as a white hood. People don’t want to admit racism when it might reflect poorly on them or distract from what they are trying to accomplish. Is it possible that racism plays a part?

Openess to change and new ideas seems to breed fear and most conservative thinkers, according to the research I’ve seen, and the conservatives I’ve witnessed, are not very open to change or new ideas. Everything needs to be laid out for them, from what to believe in, which party to support, to how the world will eventually end. Their thinking tends to be moralistic, and anyone who doesn’t fit their moral view is suspect or worse, vilified.

To be sure, all the strange accusations about Obama, from questioning his place of birth to his religious affiliation are based on irrational and unhelpful thinking. This line of unreasonable thinking is usually rooted in fear not evidence. As much as people want the same things, like peace, strong families, a strong economy and good government, many people differ on how to achieve this. The end goal usually isn’t the problem. It is the method and fervor people utilize with which to achieve what they believe to be correct. It is the source of these beliefs people should question before we even consider the method, fervor or behavior.

Getting To The Root Of The Problem

Fallacious thinking occurs when both right and left ideologically thinking groups pick sides over facts. They prefer their way of thinking verses accurate or positive thinking. People don’t really care to find the truth as much as they want to prove the other person or group wrong. This is because people like to feel good about themselves and no one wants to be wrong simply because it feels bad when we are wrong or make a mistake. If we allow our pride to rule it will degenerate into an us versus them argument. One tribe pitted against another. Truth, accuracy or helpfulness is rarely associated with this kind of tribal attitude.

In the scheme of things, racism most likely plays a part, but racism is hardly the heart of the problem. It’s the irrational and unhelpful beliefs furthered by fear and anxiety. It’s thoughts and ideas people harbor when they are confronted with something new and uncomfortable. It’s the refusal to consider another alternative. It’s the refusal to believe that my beliefs could be wrong, but more importantly, it is the narcissistic refusal to believe that “I” could be wrong.

Carter was considered a fool back in the 70′s when he tried to warn our country about dependence on foreign fuel. Now look at us. He may be a fool, or he could be a brilliant prophet.

What’s the old saying, “Even a prophet is without honor in his own town?”

This meant that I was probably going to go along crying through my day, feeling miserable and not at all in the mood to smile and be cheerful. I resented that this had to happen right now, when I had a full schedule. I wasn’t really feeling like this was an appropriate time for a meltdown!

Spend Time With Your Tears

But because I fully trust my practice, I know that the best thing for me is not to suppress or conceal whatever needs to be dealt with, but to go ahead and work through it and get things taken care of. I have to deal with whatever I have at the moment and allow myself to feel and heal as necessary. In this case it meant I cried all through my visit to the salon, before my radio show, after my radio show, during my acupuncture appointment, in my car . . . pretty much through the whole day.

Coming Out The Other Side

And at the end of it all, I knew the message of the dreams. It was simple: I needed to have a cry. Nothing more sinister than that. I had some stuff simmering below the surface, some grief and sadness I hadn’t dealt with. Eventually, it boiled up to the surface and demanded my full attention. The difference between the me of now and the me of a decade ago is that these days I know that loving myself means allowing myself to feel okay about crying, okay about expressing any feeling that I need to express. The people who witnessed my crying responded in kind with Kleenex and hugs. Amazing how that happens!

When I checked my e-mail later in the day, I noticed that a friend had sent me this Hopi prayer. Even as soon as I had unburdened myself of my emotional baggage, gifts were already starting to come back to me in an expression of the Divine. I was so moved, I thought I’d share the prayer with you, just in case you have some things in your own heart that you need to deal with and could use a little encouragement. Enjoy!

Hopi Message

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relationship? Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is a time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river. See who is in there with you, and celebrate.

At this time in history we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word “struggle” from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Tip #1: Control Your Liquid Calories

When we think about cutting the fat on our bellies, the first thing that comes to our mind is cutting down on solid food. But one thing that most guys don’t take into account is the amount of LIQUID calories they consume. These liquid calories are typically totally empty of nutrition, and they can really add up fast. If you’ve been trying to lose weight but haven’t been successful, liquid calories could be the reason why.

Think about it: a soda of the size typically served at restaurants has about 480 calories, all pure sugar.

And the average twelve ounce bottle of beer has about 160 calories. How easy is it to drink 5 or 6 beers without even thinking about it? That’s a huge amount of empty calories which go straight to your gut.

Before you even start worrying about changing what you’re eating, start paying attention to what you’re DRINKING. This means:

- Drinking tea, juice, water, or even diet soda in place of regular soda

- Replacing beer or sugary alcoholic drinks with healthier alternatives, such as a vodka tonic

- Avoiding excess consumption of sugary juices, even though they’re marketed as “healthy”

Tip #2: Boost Your Metabolism BEFORE Trying To Lose Weight

Another thing that will make weight loss MUCH easier for you is boosting your metabolism BEFORE you try and lose weight. If your metabolism is low, weight loss is going to be incredibly difficult. You’ll have to eat incredibly tiny portions of food every day, and even if you’re exercising all the time you will still have difficulty losing weight.

Your metabolism is the most important factor in your weight loss, bar none. An extremely hard cardio workout might burn 300 calories at the most but your metabolism will burn between 1500-3000 calories, EVERY SINGLE DAY, WHETHER YOU WORK OUT ON THAT DAY OR NOT.

It’s BY FAR the most important factor – you will easily burn 20x more calories through your metabolism than through exercise directly.

So you’re probably wondering, HOW do I boost my metabolism?

The best way to boost your metabolism is to gain lean body mass (muscle). This muscle will require energy every day to maintain itself, whether you work out on that day or not. This is what will jack your metabolism up, and make fat loss possible.

Back when I used to weight about 160 flabby pounds, I would eat about 1500 calories a day. It sucked – I felt like I was always starving, and I STILL didn’t lose any fat.

Now that I weigh 205 lbs. and I have much more muscle mass, I purposely eat over 3000 calories per day, EVERY DAY. I never gain any weight, because of my increased metabolism.

So if you want to lose weight, first focus on increasing your metabolism through building muscle.

Tip #3: Follow A Nutrition PLAN

Another huge mistake a lot of guys make is that they have no unified plan for their eating. They just try and follow whatever random tips they read off the internet whenever they remember them, and just hope things work out. The reality is, things never work out when you do them this way. If you don’t have a plan, then you’ll end up eating the wrong foods and you will just gain more fat on your stomach.

Because if you don’t have a definite plan — if you don’t know what you’re doing to eat that day in ADVANCE of when you actually eat it — you’ll have to make all your eating choices in the moment. And the only thing to keep you away from unhealthy food choices is going to be sheer willpower.

And let’s face it: NOBODY has very much willpower, and diets that rely on willpower inevitably fail. This is why 95% of people who “go on a diet” lose no weight, and actually GAIN weight beyond what they weighed originally.

But this isn’t to say things are hopeless — there are people who DO have the abs which come from great nutrition. The secret is, these people don’t have any more willpower than you. They just have a structured PLAN that determines what they eat, taking willpower out of the equation.

It is hard to avoid the triggers for our bad food cravings – we all experience stress and boredom and mood swings. But remaining a slave to these bad food cravings is not inevitable. We have found a way to minimize or eliminate the bad food cravings all together. Best of all, we have given up nothing and do not feel as if we are depriving ourselves of anything.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Start The Day Off Right

We’ve all heard the old stories about eating a good breakfast – but what does that really mean? The answer is different for each of us. Some people operate better when they eat some heavy carbs or protein in the morning and others, like Dan and I operate better when we start the morning off with juice and then gradually work our way up to the heavier foods as the day progresses. The important things is that what ever you put in your body in the morning, it should be healthy fuel for your body. A simple rule of thumb is to stick to food that is as close to nature as possible and pay attention to how you feel 20-30 minutes after you eat. If you feel sluggish and tired, that means that you either ate too much or it was the wrong type of food for your body.

You Do Not Have To Give Anything Up

One of the best ways we have found to start the day off right and eliminate bad food cravings later on?  We have a green juice or green smoothie for breakfast every single morning. That’s right. We invested in a juicing machine over a year ago and have been juicing ever since. We gave up nothing, but added healthful green foods through juicing. We did this every single morning and over the period of a few months, we just did not want to eat bad food any more. The best part: we didn’t intentionally plan on giving up our favorite bad food! Somehow, the effect of green juicing has reduced the craving for bad food. We just don’t seem to crave the ice cream and nachos anymore.  

Why Green Foods Reduce the Craving for Bad Foods

How can drinking a green juice or a green smoothie in the morning reduce the craving for bad food? We all know that green foods like spinach and kale are nutritionally dense. Juicing provides a huge amount of nutrients in one small delicious glass. It could be that the nutrients in green foods make us feel nutritionally satisfied. As a result, our bodies no longer constantly crave bad food for purposes of refueling. Starting off the day with a green juice or a green smoothie certainly seems to provide a steady source of energy over a longer period of time. We no longer experience the huge spikes in blood sugar levels followed by the devastating crash. As a result of drinking green foods, we have more energy to exercise and engage in the other projects we love. Drinking green foods helped us break the vicious cycle of desperate craving for bad food naturally and with very little effort.  Over time, the practice of juicing simply became a lifestyle habit that has made a huge positive difference in our lives.

You can click on “Resources” on our website for delicious recipes for green juice and green smoothies.

Try having a green juice or green smoothie every morning for 30 days and see how you feel! Let us know your experience with green foods.

Probably the most important consideration to remember when buying a juicer is that you are going to use your juicer every day or almost every day. Why? Because the enzyme activity in freshly extracted juice decreases very, very quickly. Ideally, it is best to drink your juice within 15 minutes of juicing. That way, you obtain the maximum vitamin, mineral and anti-oxidant properties that juicing can provide. Keeping in mind that you will want to use your juicer every day, here is a brief overview of what you want to look for when buying a juicer.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Considerations When Buying A Juicer

The main consideration in buying a juicer is SIMPLE. Get something simple and convenient that you will actually use. The best juicer in the world will do you no good if it sits in the corner gathering dust. You do not want a juicer that is too complicated, cumbersome, or requires time-consuming clean-up. You are looking for ease of assembly, minimal chopping of fruits and vegetables, and easy clean-up. Make sure you buy a juicer that fits into your lifestyle – and fits into your kitchen.  A gargantuan juicer with dozens of parts that need to be scrubbed and oiled daily does not promote ease of use. Pick a juicer that can be disassembled easily and is dishwasher-safe. You will also want a juicer with a large enough mouth to accomodate fruits and vegetables.

Another consideration in choosing a juicer is noise level. Basically, the more powerful the motor, the more noisy a juicer will be.  Unless your goal is to wake up the entire household with your 6 a.m. juicing, choosing a less powerful juicer will probably more than adequately meet your juicing needs and your housemates will thank you for not turning their living space into what sounds like a demolition site.

Of course, price is an important consideration in buying a juicer. Prices of juicers vary widely – from under $100 to over $500 and higher – depending on the available features. To start out, choose a juicer that is affordable for you. And make sure you read the warranty! Warranties can range from a few months to a decade to a lifetime. You are looking for a long-lasting warranty that covers the entire machine.

Below are a few examples of some popluar juicers and their features to help give you an idea of what is on the market today:

Breville Juicer Juice Fountain

The Breville Juice Fountain Professional is the juicer we have used for about a year.  It is simple – easy to use and easy to clean. The juicer is designed to conserve counterspace. It has a large mouth that accomodates larger fruits and vegetables. We paid about $150 for our Breville Juicer Juice Fountain, but you can find one on the internet for $109 plus free shipping.  It has a powerful motor and comes with a one-year warranty.

Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Express

Jack LaLanne is perhaps the world’s most famous body builder. He is is over 95 years old and credits exercise and juicing as the key to his long life.  Jack LaLanne has been selling his juicers for years on television and on the internet. We found a “Buy One Get One Free” offer on his website: buy one Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Express for $89.97 and get the second free with additional shipping and handling. This juicer looks very compact and the motor is less powerful than the Breville juicer. The parts are dishwasher safe for easy cleanup. It comes with a 60-day money back guaranty. According to the website, the “whisper quiet” motor comes with a lifetime warranty.

Omega Vert

The Omega Vert has the highest price tag of the three juicers we looked at. At $349, the Omega Vert has an electric induction motor and fewer moving parts than most juicers. In theory, this means the motor is less likely to burn out than other juicers. The Omega Vert has been built the same way for the past several decades, seemingly attesting to its quality design. The Omega Vert has a self-cleaning feature using water that keeps the juicer from becoming clogged. It comes with a 10-year warranty on the blade parts.

A good way to check out a variety of juicers is to view instructional videos on the internet. This way you can compare different juicers side by side.

Again, the one we use is the Breville Juice Fountain Professional. It works fine and cleanup is easy, so we recommend it.

We all know we should eat more fruits and vegetables. But most people have neither the time nor the desire to eat plates and plates of fruits and vegetables everyday! 

Juicing is a simple way to get all the benefits from a variety of fruits and vegetables in one small, delicious glass.

Click here to view the embedded video.

What Is Juicing?

Juicing is extracting the good stuff – the vitamins, minerals, nutrients and water – from plants using a juicing machine.  

The benefits of juicing are almost too numerous to list. Below are just some great reasons to juice:

• Juicing at home is relatively cost-effective. Instead of paying over $4 for a small bottle of juice at a health food store, once you have purchased your juicer, you can juice your own healthful blends for just pennies a serving. 
• Juicing is an excellent way to get the recommended daily servings of fruits and vegetables. The USDA currently recommends five cups of fruits and vegetables daily for a 2200 calorie diet (the average man’s diet), and four cups daily for a 1800 calorie diet (the average woman’s diet.) 
• Juicing enables you to obtain the vitamins, minerals and nutrients required for optimal health, vitality and functioning.  Fruits and vegetables have long been known to prevent and cure certain diseases such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, allergies and certain mood disorders. 
• Eating freshly juiced raw fruits and vegetables allows you to digest and absorb a greater amount of beneficial nutrients. The juicing process breaks down cell walls for faster digestion, and  nutrients are not destroyed by heat or other processing. 
• Anti-oxidants contained in fruits and vegetables have an anti-aging effect for younger looking skin, hair and nails. 
• Eating a greater proportion of fruits and vegetables every day helps you lose those love handles and maintain a healthy weight.  
• Juicing is a fun and creative way to do something good for yourself and your family. You can go even greener by planting a garden and picking your favorite fresh and organic fruits and vegetables everyday!

Open Your Own Juice Bar Today

Literally hundreds of different fruit and vegetable juices are possible. In practice, the number and type of juice combinations are only limited by your own preferences. The one rule of thumb: only blend fruits with fruits and vegetables with vegetables. The exception to the rule is that you can blend apples with vegetables. Apples are sweet and taste great with vegetables. (Pushing an apple through the juicer also helps to push through a softer fruit or vegetable that may not have completely cleared the machine.)  You do want to thoroughly wash your hands and all fruits and vegetables prior to juicing. Remove any stems, pits and seeds. Orange rinds are nasty tasting, so remove those, too. Cut larger fruits and vegetables into chunks that your juicer can easily accomodate.   

A delicious tasting, simple base recipe is to juice one medium apple with two medium carrots. You can experiment with just about any fruit or vegetable you like. Green vegetables like kale and spinach can be bitter, so add those sparingly at first until you have acquired the taste. Parsley, garlic and ginger are more exotic flavors you can add when you’re feeling a little more daring. Keep watching our videos for some of our favorite juicing recipes. 

Try this experiment:  try juicing by drinking one glass of fresh juice a day for 30 days, and see how much better you feel! 

Important Note: you should consult with your doctor before embarking on your juicing journey.

Historically speaking,  ALL change has given humans  the opportunity to adapt and evolve  -  over tens of thousands of years  -  into who we are today. Sometimes the smallest, seemingly most insignificant changes have enabled humans to eventually make giant evolutionary leaps.

On both a collective and individual level, we create the change necessary to achieve our dreams. Yet even when change is desireable, we find that change is not always easy. . . .

Click here to view the embedded video.

Why Most People Fail To Achieve Their Dreams

Most people fail to achieve their dreams because their dreams are TOO BIG. Deciding to lose 50 pounds. Getting a college degree.  Owning a successful business. Those are all pretty tall orders.  Just thinking about the enormity of those big dreams can cause some people to psych themselves out. They see the entire mile of road stretched out in front of them. Their dream seems too far away, too distant to achieve. They become daunted and disheartened and give up before they start. Supersizing your dreams can have the unintended effect of preventing desireable change.

Inch By Inch Life Is A Cinch

Remember when you were young and just learning to ride a bicycle? You weren’t popping wheelies the first day! You probably started out riding a little red tricycle. Then, when you got your first Big Kid bike, you rode around with training wheels for a few months. After the training wheels came off, dad steadied your bike until you learned to balance on your own. Little by little, you gained the confidence and the skills to perform fancy tricks – like riding with no hands . . . .  Okay, maybe not. The point is, you eventually achieved your goal by taking small steps and practicing every day. The same principle you used as a child applies to achieving your dreams today. Take baby steps. Small, achievable steps in the direction of your dream are easy to make. For example, instead of telling yourself that you have to lose 50 pounds, begin your commitment to a healthy lifestyle by adding a salad before every meal. Take a single night class to start working toward your college degree. Get to know the business you want to eventually own by starting in an entry-level position and working your way up. Doing one little thing at a time can turn that Mount Everest into a bunny slope. The Bonus: when you succeed at small things, your confidence builds, making it even EASIER to change your life!

Rewire Your Brain

The only way to make these little changes stick is to rewire your brain. You need to untrain your brain from its old habits, and retrain your brain for change.  But remember, old habits die hard! The best method for rewiring your brain is to practice, practice, practice. Practice your little step in the direction of your dream every single day for 30 days. This is how long it takes for changes to become wired into your brain. And you have to be disciplined. The 30 days have to be consecutive. No Fair Cheating! If you skip a day, you short-circuit your attempts at rewiring your brain. Be patient with yourself and with the process. You can make a decision at the end of the 30 days whether to commit to this change, if you believe the change has been positive. Finally, try this Experiment:  Make one small positive change that brings you closer to your goal every 30 days. Do this for one year. At the end of the year, look back and see how much your life has changed for the better!

What one little thing are you going to change? Let us know!

Sadly, we forget about the most important person in the world. We forget about ouselves. We forget about Me. Before we know it, we have run out of steam. Life becomes a habit and a chore and not the joy it was meant to be.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  - Lucille Ball

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Me Time

“Me Time” is the time you take to take care of yourself. It is the time you take to escape from the pressures of everyday life, to enjoy yourself, to make yourself whole. Ideally, Me Time is something you do everyday, maybe even several times a day. Me Time is anything that helps you relax and feel good about yourself. Me Time enables you to Love Yourself First.

Make Yourself Happy First

We all want our loved ones to be happy and to please our boss. But no one can give 100% if they are tired, worn out and overwhelmed. Me Time is so important because we cannot make others happy unless we are happy, first. Me Time recharges our battery and allows us to quietly focus our attention on what is really important. We become calm and centered and better able to deal with the everyday bumps along the road of life. As a result, we are able to give more of ourselves to others. Me Time is an investment in yourself, for yourself. And the dividends pay off big! The beneficiaries include our family, friends, co-workers and community at large. Have you ever noticed how when you smile at a stranger, their face lights up in a smile as well? People just seem to respond better to someone who is genuinely happy.

How To Take Care Of You

There are so many things you can do for yourself everyday to  make yourself happy. Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Do some yoga stretches to improve your strength, flexibility and mental focus. Take a walk outside during lunch or go to the gym. Download music or audiobooks to enjoy during your commute. Meditate while gardening.  Play fetch with your favorite pooch. Once a month, you can splurge and treat yourself to something really special. Visit your local spa for a massage or a pedicure. If you enjoy the arts, purchase a season ticket for the symphony or a membership at the arts museum. Sports fans can do the same to cheer on their favorite team. If you’re saying to yourself right now “No, I really don’t have the time or the money to do something like that!,” remember that this as an investment in yourself. You are worth it!

What Me Time activity do you do to make yourself happy? Let us know!

Some people really do put their lives on hold, waiting to live the life of their dreams.  True happiness eludes them.  And so, some people discover, too late, that life has passed them by.  You can live the life of your dreams – not next year or in five years - but Today!

The amazing part is, living your dreams today does not require wealth, connections, or a genius IQ.  It’s fun, it’s free and it’s right here, right now!

“The best way to live the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams Today, in every little way that you possibly can.”  - Mike Dooley

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Don’t Ruminate About The Past Or Dream Of The Perfect Future

Some people become mired in the past, thinking about regrets or missed opportunities.  They believe their dreams would have come true if only they had finished college or if only they had come from a wealthy family.  Others wait to really live their lives until they have achieved their goals.  They dream of how perfect life will be sometime in the future.  They believe they will be happy as soon as they buy that house, or as soon as they find Mr. Right.  Living in the past or idealizing the future only prevents you from living life in the present.  When you focus on the past or the future, you fail to enjoy the Now.  Forget the past and don’t worry about the future.  As Master Oogway once told Po, the panda, in Kung Fu Panda:

“Quit, don’t quit.  Noodles, don’t noodles. You are too concerned about what was and what will be.  There is a saying:  yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,  but today is a gift.  That is why it is called the ‘present.’ “

Live Life In The Present

Enjoy life by living in the present.  Don’t wait to start enjoying your life  someday – Today is that Day!   Start living a part of your dreams now.  You can do this by doing little things everyday that make you feel as if you are already living your dream.  Enjoy a cup of coffee in that luxury hotel in which you’ve dreamed of staying.  Go to the dealership and sit in the Mercedes you want to buy.  Buy the outfit that makes you feel like a top executive.   Save money every day so that you can literally visualize your Financial Freedom.  When you start doing little things like this every day, you will feel as if you are presently living your dream.  You will begin to feel the abundance of living in the present.  You will feel the great feeling of gratitude for what you have now.   Living in the present will help you live the life of your dreams now.

Live Your Dreams Now

You don’t have to live your life thinking you would be happy “if only”  your dreams would come true.  When you visualize yourself living your dreams everyday and take every small step possible toward actualizing your dreams every single day, you will be living your dreams now.  You will enjoy the experience of staying in the luxury hotel.  You will feel as great as if you really owned that Mercedes.  You will feel as confident as a top executive.    You will watch your money grow and enjoy the feeling of Financial Freedom.  Living your dreams - now and everyday – is the best and quickest way to live the life of your dreams.  Give yourself the gift of the present by starting to live your dreams today.

What do you do everyday to live your dreams?  Let us know!

Finding the right organizational tools takes a lot of time and effort, but here are some great tools that can help you get started organizing your business, school tasks, home remodel or anything else in your life that needs organizing!

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5pm

5pm is an excellent scheduling tool that by far surpasses the other scheduling tools available. 5pm is a low cost website that offers an interactive scheduling interface that you can share with others, allowing you to view and edit different tasks for yourself and anyone else you have working with you. You can access your 5pm schedule from anywhere - not just at home or work.

Other popular alternatives to 5pm, including Basecamp and Zoho Projects just didn’t measure up to what you can do with 5pm project management.

Google Calendar

The creative geniuses behind Google have created a free, online calendar that you can use and access from anywhere as well as share with others. You can have multiple calendars and multiple people working on the same calendar, so everyone knows what’s going on and when.

Google Docs

Another great inception from Google is their Google Docs application. Similar to Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel, you can create both documents and spreadsheets to share with others.  You can access your documents from anywhere, and you can even have multiple people viewing and editing the same document. There is also a chat box within the document that allows you to have a real time conversation with anyone who is viewing or editing the document.

Mozy

Mozy is an excellent tool to use if you have a lot of information on your computer that needs to be backed up on a daily basis. For just $5/mo per computer, you can have Mozy automatically back up your files each night on an offsite server, so you know your information is safe no matter what happens.

We checked out the popular alternatives, including Carbonite and Dropbox, but in the end the simplicity of Mozy for “brain-dead simple backups that just works” won us over. And after a few months we’ve very happy with our decision.

YouSendIt

Sending files to people via email can be difficult, especially if the files are quite large. Uploading it using a free email service such as Yahoo or Hotmail is even harder. YouSendIt is an inexpensive online application that allows you to send files to other people quickly and easily, no matter what the file size.

Earth Class Mail

Earth Class Mail is an online service, much like a P.O. box, that will take your physical paper mail, scan it in and let you access it electronically – with an interface that looks a lot like email. You never have to deal with letters, post cards or the like again. You can access your mail from anywhere, and for a fee they’ll even deposit checks directly to your bank. Earth Class Mail is an excellent option for doctors, lawyers, home business professionals or anyone that just wants to go paperless.

Even if you’re not looking to replace your mailbox with a digital alternative… if you have your own business and don’t necessarily want your home address available to everyone, consider using a service like Earth Class Mail for your public mailing address.

Pandora

With all of the organizing you’re doing, you might want to kick back and relax a bit with some tunes. Pandora is a great option for Internet radio, allowing you to build your own musical selection by choosing songs that you like while Pandora loads in musically similar songs. Feel free to let Pandora know if there’s a song you don’t like, and they won’t play it again. The more you listen to Pandora and interact with it, the more customized your own personal Internet radio station becomes.

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

My time here at Today is that Day has been nothing less than wonderful, and I am very glad that the blog posts and other content from the site will most likely still remain available even after the new owners get done moving things around. The community that has been built around this site is the most empowering and uplifting group of people that I have ever been exposed to, and I am grateful that via the power of the Internet, I will still be able to interact with many of you.

My own life has changed drastically over the last year, and all of the changes have been for the best! I got married to my wonderful new wife, Shanna, and we live on the east coast of Florida which is a dream come true for both of us. I have rejoined the U.S. Military as an Air National Guard soldier, and I will spend 6 months at Keesler Air Force Base in Mississippi during 2009 learning all sorts of cool, high-tech stuff. My military affiliation will be financing a full-time college education that will also be in the high-tech arena. In addition, I have finally launched the incredible health & fitness website: Surfside Fitness, which is a project that I have been working on for more than 6 months. The result of that work is a beautiful new site that will be an awesome resource for a great many people.

Surfside Fitness is where I will be spending most of my online time, and with major props once again being given to my incredible designer, Jason Larose, I am looking forward to helping thousands of people to attain high levels of health and fitness via that site. I got it completed just in time for the fresh start that 2009 will bring for all of us!

Surfside Fitness is more than just a website and blog, however. The site comes complete with:

• A full suite of services including Fitness Consulting, Online Fitness Training, Program Evaluation, and lots more
• A fitness blog that will be updated several times each week, and a plan is already in place to ensure not only frequent updates, but very high quality health and fitness content as well
• A free health and fitness community that is simple to use, yet packed with tons of features like personal blogs, video uploads, picture uploads, groups, forums, and more
• Frequently updated videos and featured products that will be more than just a stale rotation of old content. The video and product updates will be coming straight from the cutting edge of the health and fitness arena

Since my primary goal with Today is that Day has always been to empower people to believe that they can take control over their lives and build those lives to be wonderful, I want to leave with a parting message:

Never, ever, EVER GIVE UP!

For my wife and I, 2008 has been one of the hardest years of our lives. We have had every imaginable difficulty, and some difficulties that you probably CAN'T imagine. To say that we had to struggle this year in order to get to where we are now would be a radical understatement.

We made it through the fire by sticking to our guns and staying focused on our goals!

There were no hand outs, no easy streets, no miracle cures, and no safety nets. We have had to fight, kick, scratch, and bite for every ounce of success that we have had, and if we had given up, then none of these wonderful things would have happened in our lives.

We sit poised on the brink of a new year that – although there will still be challenges – we are better armed from every conceivable level to achieve success than we have ever been in the past.

We got to this point by believing in ourselves, believing in each other, and keeping our eyes on the prize.

Stay focused on what you want, never give up reaching for it, and your success is guaranteed.

I'll look forward to seeing you all out there wherever our paths cross again, and in the meantime, remember to always enjoy your life. If you're not having fun, what's the point??

When the fine folks over at Premier Student Loans offered to do a guest post about making money by following your passions, I jumped at the chance to get some quality content for the blog, since my hands are still too full for me to consistently add new content to this site. So, enjoy this guest post, give some serious thought to the role of education in your own success plan, and feel free to leave a comment if you’d like to share your thoughts!

Success, including financial prosperity, rarely comes to those who lack direction or purpose. Most of us possess a loose network of desires, tendencies and interests that guide us to choose a profession and chart a satisfactory direction for our lives.

Perhaps our first stab at a career came when we took the first job we could get, just to get away from, or to please Mom and Dad. Many of us just go on from there, working this or that job, interesting or not. While your job may not necessarily be your life, since you will spend 30 to 50 percent of your life at work, it stands to reason that doing something that you are absolutely crazy about will, at least, make the time go faster.

Stick With Your Passion

All of us want to make a living doing something we really love, but lack the self-confidence to pursue, such as being involved in medical case management, a painter, a gourmet chef, an automobile mechanic, or a writer. As Jack Palance said in the film “City Slickers”, “The secret to life is to pick one thing and stick with it.” The adhesive that will help us “stick with it” and live the lives we love is passion.

On unique occasions, such as being laid off, succumbing to job burn-out, or just wanting more out of life, we decide to make a change and prepare a clean slate on which to plot our next course. It is at these times that our passions, our burning desires, will give us direction and motivation to pursue the next big thing in our lives.

The Other Side of the Passion Coin

We should not accept the objects of our passions on face value, but rather discover what it is about them that really float our boats. If you feel passionate about “helping people”, careers in that field number in the hundreds. They can range from being a live-in aid for a disabled person to going to medical school and becoming a pathologist. On the one hand, a live-in aid has intensive contact with his or her client, including bathing, feeding, and toilet procedures. A pathologist rarely sees patients and works in a lab, preparing specimens and doing hours of microscopic analyses. Both jobs would qualify as “helping people.” The trick to choosing a living by following your passions is to explore careers that offer the most satisfaction that also have the fewest disagreeable features.

Find That Special Niche

A passion for art is also a gossamer-like concept. If all you want to do is paint wildlife and fill up page after page in your sketchbooks, you should run that up the flagpole and go full speed ahead. However, if you passionately love art, and think you should become an artist, but never doodle in the margins of your schoolbooks and are hesitant to make that first mark on a piece of illustration board, look deeper into your passion to discover that special niche.

Perhaps an easier route to living your passion is to look at what you already do. What is the one thing you do that you are always thinking about, analyzing, and doing in your spare time? Making a living while doing what you are passionate about may sound more difficult than hanging in there with your safe old job, but you can seamlessly transition into a new career by setting aside time in the evenings instead of doing non-productive things such as watching TV. There are distance learning courses, online degree programs, and web sites that can teach you just about anything.

Engage!

If you are ready to commit to making money by following your passions, set the stage by making time for yourself, being honest with yourself about your talents and passions, doing all the research, and establishing a game plan. Let the transformation begin!

Veteran readers of this blog will note that I have been out of the loop recently, and the subject of finding what you are passionate about is a large part of the very reason why I dropped out of the blogosphere for so long. In short, I have been struggling with how best to spend the time and resources that I dedicate to my career, and I recently got a wonderful bit of assistance in that regard: Brian Kim’s awesome book, How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It.

Back in July 2007, I did a review of one of Brian’s other books, The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich, and since that book was incredibly useful, I was ecstatic to hear that Brian had released something new. The concept of finding what it is that we are passionate about is something that so very many people struggle with. After reading Brian’s Book, I can honestly say that the system contained in his book is the best one that I have seen yet.

As Brian so eloquently points out in the book, many people are “secretly leading lives of quiet desperation,” and despite their desire to find fulfillment and financial success, very few people are able to find and stick to a system that allows them to do so. As a result, many people end up just doing whatever they are good at and/or educated for, and what they actually WANT to be doing rarely even enters into the equation.

Using myself as an example, this blog has been up for several years, and although it has been a success on every measurable level, it became more and more apparent to me over time that simply blogging for a living – although enjoyable – was not enough for me. My life requires more of a consistent challenge than just writing provided to me, and I was left asking myself just what it was that I DID want to do.

Although I still love blogging and working on the Internet, I can’t honestly say that I am passionate enough about blogging to see it as my “mission” in life. Does it hold value for other people? Absolutely, and for that I am grateful. However, my destiny lies along a different path, and Brian’s book really helped to open my eyes to some core concepts that needed to be considered as I mapped out the next stages of my life.

How to Find your Passions

There are other books out there on the subject of finding your passions, but as Brian points out in How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It, most books on this topic ask you to think about the DETAILS of a passion-filled life, but they never really tell you how to find that passion to begin with. The details (type of work, ideal work day, income potential, etc.) are just a small part of the equation compared to the importance of finding the passion FIRST, and then working out the less important details once the passionate foundation has been laid.

In addition to the step by step process that Brian lays out in the book, he is quick to also add in that using the power of your subconscious mind is also an integral part of finding your passions. Brian’s system advises you to not only make a consistent conscious effort towards finding your passions, but to also use your subconscious mind as an active ally in the process, and to respond quickly whenever inspiration or “ah-ha moments” strike.

Did you find your passions?

Another thing I love about the book is that there is a 10-question “test” that you can apply once you think you have nailed down your passions. It is easy to get excited about a new idea or a new plan of action, but if the new passion won’t fuel a long-term process, then it’s not really a passion to begin with.

Chapter 5 is entitled How You’ll Know You’ve Truly Found What You Love to Do, and the 10-question test does a great job of separating temporary enthusiasm from the long-term mindset that true passions are made up of.

How to Make Money with your Passions

There are really only 2 ways of making money: You either use your resources to work for and invest in yourself, or you use those resources to benefit someone else, a.k.a. – an employer. Both of those systems have their benefits, and this book does not take sides. Brian has a section about how to make money as an employee while following your passions, and a separate section for how to make money as a passionate Entrepreneur.

Both of those sections of the book include the same “questions equal answers” mentality, and the questions that you ask yourself about how to monetize your passions are the critical first step towards finding useful answers. People who find the wrong answers are the same people who asked the wrong questions. For both the employee route, as well as the entrepreneurial route, Brian lists the types of questions that you should ask yourself.

I was also very impressed with the short, yet extremely useful section that he put together for entrepreneurs who want to monetize their passions. His overview of the entrepreneurial process of making money while loving what you do is only a few pages long, but it covers a lot of ground and definitely points the would be entrepreneur in the right direction.

Conclusion

Overall, the book How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It promises a lot, and if you are willing to go through the processes described in the book, you will indeed get a lot out of your time investment. Discovering what to do with the rest of your life is worth a little bit of homework, don’t you think?

For me personally, I have already changed my own mindset about the future, and I have a renewed sense of hope and confidence as a result. Even just a short time after reading the book,  I have already gotten a huge amount of value from it.

Brian Kim has written a lot of great content over the years, and despite the massive impact that this book will have on the lives of anyone who reads it, the cost is very low.

Big props to you, Brian, and thanks for this great book that will help to put so many people on the right path!

Pick up your own copy of
How to FINALLY Find What You Love to Do AND Get Paid For Doing It

BONUS#1: ($12 value) Get a FREE Copy of “The Introspection Workbook” – Use it to help discover the kind of work that’s suited just for you!

BONUS#2: ($12 value) Get a FREE copy of the s
pecial report: ’3 Real Life Stories Of Those Who Did It’ – Read the real life stories of those who have managed to find what they love to do and got paid for doing it! See how they used the information in the book to do so.

You don't need to look any further than the almost universal desire that people have for more money in order to see this concept in action. People jump through all manner of hoops in order to gain financial freedom, but even if they had a mountain of money in front of them, if they didn't do anything with it, then it would just be a useless pile of paper.

Photo Credit: Txt2Pic.comIt is not what we GET in life that matters, because life is handing us new opportunities every single day. Rather, it is what we DO with those opportunities that will ensure not only our long-term success, but our day-to-day happiness as well.

The Dream Job

Every person has their own rendition of what their "dream job" is, so what would you do if you actually attained it?

• Would you just show up for work every day, but not do any actual work?
• Would you stop working towards future success and advancements?
• Would you ignore opportunities to demonstrate the skills or experience that you used to get the job to begin with?

A "dream job" without a corresponding effort on your part to show that you are worthy of that job is nothing more than an opportunity for you to end up standing in the soup line.

The Dream Body

Yep, we've all pictured it in our heads at one time or another, right? Those firm muscles, tight curves, and sculpted features are things that most people give thought to, and for some people, it is an on-going quest that lasts for decades. What would you do if you got your "dream body," though?

• Would you start eating junk food like it was going out of style?
• Would you stop exercising effectively and on a very consistent basis?
• Would you pick up every unhealthy habit that you could get your hands on?

A "dream body" is made up of both the mental and the physical work that it takes to get that body to begin with. If you stop doing that work, then your "dream body" will once again become nothing but a far off goal that you can't quite get your hands on.

The Dream Relationship

Who hasn't dreamed of their "soul mate" at one time or another, or at least dreamed of the guy or girl that would keep them satisfied on an emotional or physical level? That "dream relationship," however, is not something that can be won, but then just ignored.

• If you are a certain person in the beginning of a happy relationship, do you honestly think that relationship will stay happy if you start acting like a different person?
• If you have certain goals or dreams that are shared by your significant other, but your goals or dreams change, is it your significant other's fault when the relationship starts to crumble?
• If you are a family man or woman, but suddenly you decide to recapture your college glory days of keg parties and panty raids, do you honestly think that is going to fly?

A relationship – by definition – is made up of 2 people harmoniously sharing their life experiences. If one person changes drastically from how they were in the beginning of the relationship, the possibility that the other person will change enough to balance things out is minimal at best.

The moral of the story here is that the attainment of success – no matter how thrilling – is simply a moment in time when you realize that you have won. After that moment has passed, it is time for you to step up to the plate and consistently prove that you are worthy of that success.

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The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things "used to be" is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

Photo Credit: KadhaIf we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it's all new. It's like that ridiculous advertising slogan "New and Improved". Something can't be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with "sweet spots" that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember "back when," or "that time when," or "how it used to be".

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on "the good ol' days". Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away. 

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I'm not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we've all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don't do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don't realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn't even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

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I have used the term "if nothing changes, then nothing changes" in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don't keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

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